The Japanese Think Of Everything

I miss summer in the worst way, even though it's in the mid-50's, it's fucking freezing in my book. My people were not made for cold or rain, so I'm ready for this winter bullshit to be over.

In summer related activities, some Japanese game show-type thing invented the best thing I've heard of this week - a slip and slide made entirely of bikini-clad women. Just look at the guy testing this out. He's a fucking champ, clawing his way to the end. No way would he allow any of those women to prevent him from reaching his goal, which just happens to be crawling over them. If he happens to fondle a boob or something, it's in the name of progress not sexual deviation. I feel like I just represented this guy in court. The only thing he should be on trial for is not doing this sooner and inviting me along.

I tried getting my wife to do this and the next thing I knew I was waking up in the emergency room. I'm pretty sure that means my Japanese woman is defective.